Past, Present & Future

Forgiving The Past, Surrendering to The Present & Planning for The Future 

I was stuck in my past for majority of my 20’s. Even though I started attending church regularly and began serving I was still stuck. I found myself making most of my decisions out of fear or anxiety. I was putting labels on myself because of what I had been through and experienced. I was disqualifying myself because I thought I wasn’t good enough. I would talk myself out of opportunities because why would someone like me be chosen. I didn’t feel like I deserved anything of value or that I could add value to anything or anyone. I was stuck in my past and for me to move past the way I viewed myself I had to forgive my past. Not only did I need to forgive certain people in my past. I also needed to forgive myself and the things that I went through. I couldn’t move forward with my present until I forgave my past. Forgiving the things that didn’t go my way. Forgiving what I didn’t have, that I thought I should have had. I had to lay my past down at the feet of Jesus. I had to give Jesus the brokenness of my past, in order for me to live fully in my present.

Have you ever felt like, okay I’ve accomplished this and now I’m good? I got the job and now I’m good or I got married and now I’m good. Well, that’s how I felt when I finally was able to let go of the past and not make decisions based on my previous experiences. I was like, okay. I got this!! Well, guess what? I was wrong! I didn’t have this!!! After forgiving my past I walked into the next season of my life which was a season of learning to surrender. I was now learning to surrender to the present. Have you ever felt like you just can’t catch a break? That’s how I felt. I felt like I just had a huge victory over a struggle I battled with for years only to be knocked back down to learning to surrender. What does it mean to surrender? Surrendering means submitting to authority. At first, I was confused because I was like I have authority over my own life. I tell myself what to do. I make my own plans. Well, it wasn’t until I discovered Proverbs 16:9 which tells us “A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” It was this scripture that opened the eyes of my understanding that I am not in control and if I want to be in the will of God I would have to go with His directions of my life. Then I begin to ask questions. What does my future look like? Do I not make any more plans because the Lord will direct me anyways? The answer is NO, still make plans. Have a vision for your life! The first part of Proverbs 29:18 tells us, “Where there is no vision, the people perish”. Planning for my future now consists of me having a vision for my goals, dreams and desires then surrendering those plans to the Lord. Allowing Him to control and direct my path. If we are going to be the light that Jesus has called for us to be we are going to have to take some steps that may challenge us. Steps like forgiving the past, surrendering to the present and planning for the future the Lord has for us. Once we start moving in the direction of the Lord the light on the inside of us begins to grow and we start becoming the light we were created to be.