The Tug of War (Heart vs. Mind)

Growing up in the late 1990’s to early 2000’s I remember during my summer breaks from school I would get the opportunity to attend a summer camp for an entire week, 7 whole days!!! This was the most exciting part of my summer. At camp we would swim in the pool, have ice cream at canteen, go out on the lake and play plenty of games. One of the games we played was tug of war. For those who don’t know, tug of war is a game typically played with a rope and 2 groups of people. You would have one team on one side of the rope and the other team on the other side of the rope. The objective of the game is to pull the rope as hard as you can and get your opponents to your side. Whichever team gets their opponents to their side wins the game.  

I don’t know about you, but I have had plenty of tug of war moments/seasons in my life as it pertains to knowing what I should do in my mind verse what I actually did due to my heart. One of my tug of war moments involved forgiving. Forgiveness is always a huge tug of war because I know what I should do, but my heart isn’t always on the same wave as my mind. Once I decided that I needed to forgive I felt the tug of war in my heart and mind. My mind knew that forgiveness was necessary, but my heart could not fathom why I would ever forgive people who hurt me so badly. This is when I realized that my heart had harden towards the people that God called me to forgive. In my mind I knew of the scriptures that talked about forgiveness and the benefits of forgiving, but when I tried to align my heart with what my mind knew and read; there was a great disconnect. The tug of war grew between my heart and mind because on one hand I knew what I needed to do, but on the other hand I was bruised so badly I could not forgive. Forgiveness to me meant that I would be letting the people that hurt me know that it was okay for the hurt that they had caused me, and I was not about to give them that pass. It was until I read 2 parables in Matthew that I knew I had no other choice but to forgive; if I was truly going to live my life for Christ. In Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus tells the parable of a servant who was forgiven of his debt by his master, but once the servant was forgiven, he did not show that same kindness and forgiveness to another servant who was in debt to him. Matthew 6:14-15 states “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” These passages opened my heart to the true understanding and importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness wasn’t to benefit the people I was forgiving. Forgiving those people was going to benefit me and once I started to forgive others then my heavenly Father would forgive me. My flesh was too strong to allow me to walk through this forgiveness journey alone. Once I decided to invite God into helping me forgive it was a journey and a decision, I had to make DAILY!  Hear me clearly, this did not happen overnight, and this was not something that I could do within my own strength.

Now forgiveness is just the highlight for this example, but there are other areas in our lives that we may constantly have a tug of war in our heart and mind. It could be a particular relationship that we need to let go. In our mind we know the person is not good for us, but our heart is telling us a different story.  I want to encourage you to ask God to help you take the steps and make the right decision for you. When we settle the tug of war in our heart and mind then our light will begin to grow brighter. Once we are freed from the things or relationships that are holding us back, then and only then will we truly be able to become the light we were created to be. When we are involved in situations that are not meant for us it can dim our light, and we are committed to be the light that Jesus has called us to be.