Friends – How Many of Us Have Them?
Friends! How many of us have them? Friends! Ones you can depend on. Friends! Those are the lyrics that come to mind as I begin writing this. Growing up I did not have as many friends as I thought I had. Between the shifting of foster homes, sometime cities; it was hard to build true friendships. What is a friend? The dictionary defines a friend as a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
Nowadays, I believe we use the word friend so loosely. How would I define a friend? I would define a friend as someone who loves me enough to not always agree with me when I’m wrong. A friend is someone who loves and cares for me when I’m on the mountain top and when I’m in the valley. A friend is someone who corrects me when I’m wrong and is also someone who is there as a shoulder to cry on.
Growing up I thought I had a lot of friends. I thought these people were for! Well, I found out the hard way that everyone that I called friend was not a friend. Some of those people were associates, coworkers or people that I just knew through my relationship with others. These are sometimes hard to determine because some people are just so nice; they must be a friend, right? My desire is that we learn to choose the right friends in our lives. One of the most important things we must know when selecting friends is that everyone is not called to be a part of our tribe! The people who are part of our tribe will be able to handle the dreams, desires and intimate details that are shared with them without jealousy, envy or sabotaging. Our tribe will be there to encourage us and remind us of our dreams and desires when times get tough. Everyone is not your person, and each friend may bring something different. Each friend may meet a different need in your life. What does that mean? That means I don’t expect just one friendship to meet every need I have. I have a handful of true friends, and they all serve a different need in my life. Some of them serve more than just one need, but most of my relationships add value to one or two areas of my life. For example, I have a friend who I will reach out to when I need prayer for a challenge in my life. Then I have a different friend who I will reach out to when I need to vent and need a different perspective from how I’m viewing something. The bible has many stories of friendships and the benefits of the right friendship. Some friendships could save our lives. Literally save our lives!!! In 1 Samuel 19:2 Jonathan the friend of David warns David that his father, Saul was looking to kill him! Now that’s what I call a true friend!
There are plenty of scriptures that outline what it looks like to have good friendships and what it looks like to have bad friendships. Friendship is important! We were not created to live life alone! We should look for friendships that bring out the light in us. Not the friendships that leave us depleted and empty. Know that everyone is not your friend and that is okay. There may be people who you thought were your friends, but you begin to find out that they are not really the friend you thought they were. That’s okay too. Ask God to bring the right friendships into your life and while you are waiting for the Lord to bring those friendships, focus on becoming the friend you want. Proverbs 27:17 tells us “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend”. Although the goal is to have longevity in friendships. I’m more interested in having friends who have my best interest at heart. I want friends who are not afraid to tell me the truth when I need it. I want friends who will be a listening ear when I’m going through a rough season in life and will not judge me but encourage me. I encourage you to evaluate your friendships and see what value they add to your life. Then evaluate that friendship even further and see what value you add to their life. Friendships sparks life and love! Whenever I have a good conversation with my friends, I feel empowered and equipped to move forward. I know that they love me and want to see me succeed. Do your friends do that for you? If not, ask God for friends that will spark life and love into your life. Ask God for friends that will have your best interest at heart and will help you become the light that you were created to be.
